Let the good times roll
After a 4-month hiatus, I am back! I generally like to sit down and write when I am feeling inspired. It feels somewhat forced to write on a scheduled basis when in reality, sometimes there is just not much to talk about. I know you are all running to hear me complain that I don’t have my dad anymore, so just hold on to your seats!
There are a lot of things that have connected me and my dad. I have great memories of him taking me to the Javits Center in the city to see the car show. Even in the summers we would go to car shows at Gateway Park on Sundays and check out all of the old-time muscle cars. We always spoke about how I wanted a 4-door white Jeep Wrangler Rubicon and we would trick it out with the big lights and oversized tires. Every time we were in the car together, we would always point one out if we saw one. I tried to convince him on many occasions to get one for himself (so I could selfishly drive it) but unfortunately, he never gave in. When I reflect on those positive memories, I realize how grateful I am to have had a dad like him. I think in some way, we could all relate to those little special details about the person we are missing most.
Two years ago, when I was going through a bit of rough patch, my dad was the first person I could talk to. I was experiencing a time where I wasn’t feeling like myself and my mental health was truly getting a run for its money. My dad had a way of speaking to me like he was one of my best friends. He wore his heart on his sleeve and he didn’t hold back from sharing stories with me and simply just being relatable when I needed him the most. Mental health often times has a negative stigma and seeking help is one of the hardest things that someone could do.
One of my dad’s biggest health issues included suffering from PTSD, anxiety, and depression from being a 9/11 first responder. I don’t think there is necessarily a right way to cope with any of those things, but considering what he went through, I have to give the guy credit. He wasn’t perfect but considering the circumstances he did a pretty damn good job. When I was learning how to cope with my own struggles my dad was exceptionally honest and real with me on how to deal with those types of feelings. I learned that it is okay to ask for help and to accept support from those around me.
In natural Victoria fashion, I wanted to do something outrageous during my little “meltdown.” Well, I had the perfect idea…I would get a tattoo! My dad had 6 tattoos: a cobra, a rose, a Scorpio, a bulldog, the Marine Corps emblem, and the Twin Towers. Anytime I told my dad I wanted a tattoo his response was always ‘If you get a tattoo, I will tattoo your face.” I can’t say I blame him! I was his daughter and he did not want to see me mark up my body. But I really really wanted one and I did not want to go behind his back to do it. He was the type of parent who truly would not get mad if you told the truth so I figured it was best to tell him my plan. Well, to my surprise, he came with me for my first tattoo! I was shocked to say the least and my mother definitely wasn’t happy but let’s just say he was the cool parent (sorry mom!)
My dad taking the trip and holding my hand during my first tattoo was something I will never forget. He was living for the moment anyway since all of the tattoo artists were gushing over his tattoos. He got most of them way before I was born and tattoos weren’t as mainstream as they are now. I did promise him that I wouldn’t get any more, but I did get matching ones with one of my best friends and then I got one for him that said “Never Forget” while he was sick. Nothing says “I love you” like getting some permanent ink on your body for someone!
Over this past weekend, I spontaneously got another tattoo – this time I was sure my mother was going to murder me. It is also one of those things where I wish my dad was around so that I could show him. If I had to guess, he would probably laugh and then give me some sort of lecture that I shouldn’t be making quick decisions that will live on my body forever.
I think it is safe to say that we would do anything to have a Facetime call from the person we love in heaven. I am sure he knows everything that I am doing, but of course there are times when I just want to pick up the phone and call my dad. Whether it was bonding over cool cars, being there for me when I needed him, or taking me for my first tattoo, those are memories that I will hold onto forever. My trip to the tattoo shop reminded me so much of the good times that I had with my dad that I knew I had to write about it and share my experience.
here’s to making spontaneous memories…
