A new perspective: through the eyes of a daughter of an NYPD Detective
One of the most special things about having my blog is being able to connect to others who have similar experiences as me. It can be oddly comforting knowing that there are people around me who have gone through similar feelings and experiences, particularly dealing with 9/11. I can’t put my finger on it but growing up as a kid of a 9/11 first responder has given me a different outlook on a lot of things in life.
I met Susan Fiorentino when she decided she wanted to curate a book from the perspective of 9/11 first responder children. She has given us an outlet to tell our stories and let us be heard. Susan’s father, Pete was a 2nd Grade NYPD Detective when the attacks happened. She kindly allowed me to interview her for my blog to get her perspective and tell her story. To reach out to Susan you can email her at susanfiorentino11@gmail.com and to purchase her book you can click the linj at: http://t2tbook.herokuapp.com/about
What inspired you to curate a book in honor of 9/11? Did you consider writing your own book just from your perspective or did you always know you wanted to get stories from the 9/11 children?
Someone very close to me passed while I was in college, and she herself was a published author. She always inspired me to pursue writing, even from a young age. As I got older, I knew for me that writing would not be a full time career for me so I always pursued it on the side and blogged here and there but one of my bucket list items was to publish a book... and it was not until COVID-19, when we were all forced in isolation and sit alone with our feelings that this idea even came to exist. My dad is part of the immune compromised category so I was unable to see him for months and looking back on it, those feelings of anxiety increased because it reminded me of my life after 9/11. COVID-19 really made me think about my "why" and my purpose, and I had this really strong feeling that I needed to share my story about my life as a child of a 9/11 First Responder.. especially since you do not always hear from the children. To make even more of an impact, I knew I had to include others stories as well. Especially it being the 20th anniversary of 9/11 the following year, I knew this was the time to do this. I turned 30 in 2020 and it felt like the opportunity (especially considering all the time on our hands!) to make this dream a reality.
How has 9/11 affected you in your day-to-day life? Do you feel as though your life would not be the same if this did not happen?
Yes, I strongly believe that my life would be completely different if 9/11 did not happen. This is actually something I focused on with my own story in the book. When I catch myself thinking like that, because I think I would have had a completely different childhood and a different perspective on life, I try to remind myself that for whatever reason God needed it to be, I was meant to be the daughter of a 9/11 First Responder. Growing up having experienced life with a parent who was there that day, gave me a perspective on life that unfortunately, I do not think one has unless they experienced this trauma. I became naturally gravitated towards a career that gives back to others, instilled to volunteer my time, treasure, and talents when I can, and feel very strongly. Now on the flip side, I do struggle with a lot of anxiety and battled an eating disorder through my mid 20s, and I feel like those were responses to not having a sense of control. 9/11 was out of anyone's control and with my childhood experiences, I feel like i needed some control in my life. Over the years, these are things I have become more vocal about, in hopes that my story can help others heal.
Are there any special traditions you or your family have on the day of 9/11? Being from New York in particular is super hard, do you think the rest of the country tends to "forget"?
I always start my day with a text to my dad and then visiting the Alba House in Staten Island... and I stay off social media as much as I can. I reach out to my friends and family also affected but that is the extent of me being on my phone.. it is just too hard. With my anxiety heighted especially around 9/11, it is hard for me to go into the city for anything. Instead, I also bake and purchase cookies/donuts and coffees and drop them off to local firehouses and precincts. I also think that the rest of the country tends to forget, and I think that is human nature at times, if you are not impacted by something.. it is not on your mind? But considering the impact that 9/11 had on our country and freedom, and the amount of men and women who went to war after, I would think and hope it would be in the front of everyone's mind. Again, I am from Staten Island, so I grew up around first responders and now most of my friends are.. it is something always on my mind.
What do you remember about that day specifically? Is there something that you will never forget? Was it hard for you to understand what was going on or did you know right away something was wrong?
I remember everything up until I was picked up from school that day. I remember exactly where I was sitting in my 6th grade classroom at St. Ann's and I remember how I felt when we found out something terrible happened in the city. I do not think I will ever forget the anxiety I felt (but did not know it at the time) that I knew my dad had an important job in the city.. but was he even near this? and how calm and supportive our principal and teachers were during this. As an adult looking back, I can not imagine having the ability to be that calm, especially with children of parents who they knew, a lot were down working there. Trauma has blocked my memory from months after 9/11 and I still to this day do not remember most of 6th grade.
How did 9/11 change your perspective on life and the way you see others? Are there any valuable lessons you have learned from your dad through all of this?
9/11 one hundred percent changed my perspective on life and the way I see others. At a young age, I saw that there are truly evil people in the world, but there are also good people who put others in front of themselves and their loved ones, to save people they do not even know. I truly believe that first responders have this special thing in them to be that brave and live this type of lifestyle. It is not for everyone. At a young age, I also realized that our parents are not the superheroes we think they are.. they are human. I think in time, we all come to that realization but it is very hard at 10 years old to watch your what used to be your normal, become a distant memory and have a new "normal" with life after. From my dad, I learned that people put on a brave face even in the toughest of times, even when they are in pain and sickness.. that is not always visible to the eye. I also learned that life is short and to give it your all, don't back down from your values, and to always give back to others.
Since your dad was a first responder that day, do you worry about the future of his health? Do you think a lot of people tend to forget about the survivors who worked down at Ground Zero and their families?
As I have gotten older and I hear about people he knew that were down that being diagnosed, I often worry about his health. A few years ago, there was a health scare during his routine 9/11 check ups, and all the feelings of 9/11 and growing up came flooding over me and it only partially went away when he was in the clear. I could never imagine life without my dad, so I am thankful every day that he survived, but I do think that again, unless you are impacted by being a first responder family or from NY, people forget about not only those who survived, but their families. Growing up with a parent who was at 9/11 is a constant reminder of that day; their habits, their health, their stories, their career..it all stems back from that day. I often feel guilty about my feelings with 9/11 since my dad survived, but I have to remind myself that he still experienced trauma and survived a terrorist attack, which was to no fault of his own, impacted his family and that I am allowed to process my feelings.
You are involved with Tunnels to Towers, can you tell us about your role there? Was it hard emotionally to get involved because this is a cause that is so personal and hits home for you?
I am one of the 11 founding members of the Tunnel to Towers Foundation's Young Professionals Network. It is truly an honor to be involved with the Foundation this way. Since college, I have built a career in the non-profit field and have always volunteered for causes that have had a personal impact on me, so when I was asked to be part of this, I knew I had to join. Currently, I serve as Co-Chair of the First Responders and Military Committee. This has provided opportunities to lead the group in giving back to our first responders and military. Leading this committee means so much to me because I have been impacted by my father's career and now that I am an adult, I have a chance to show appreciation and support to these men and women, who I am sure a majority are parents with little ones at home. Being so impacted by 9/11, it is almost impossible not to get emotional but when it gets to be overwhelming, I remind myself that I have an amazing opportunity to use my talents to help other first responders and their families.
